Grass Valley, CA — Area man Jake Zillevich of Grass Valley is concerned about the high number of gullible people on Social Media and has made it his mission to point out the satire genre as often as possible.
“Look,” said a serious Mr. Zillevich, “the government is out to get into every part of our lives. Even into our bodily fluids. They want to take over our lives in every way. Just look at the toilet flushing regulations. And our guns. So it’s important that people know how to sort the real news from the fake news.”
According to his 23 followers on Facebook and Twitter, Mr. Zillevich is an anti-satire zealot, frequently trolling the Internet and Social Media for suspicious “click-bait” articles whose sole purpose is to trick people into clicking. He enters the comments streams and posts glib things like “fake” and “This is satire people.”
“We’re already not trusting the confusion created by the so-called “legitimate” news outlets (propaganda peddlers),” continued satire expert Mr. Zillevich, “so here’s a satirical ‘news’ source that will better accentuate the absurdity and confusion, just don’t take it any more seriously than you take the real fake news. See, SNL does that already, and they even sometimes manage to make you laugh.”
Mr. Zillevich, who has no training in literary critical theory nor could he identify any satirical works from literature cannon, maintains he knows how to pick satire when he sees it. His writing experience is confined to Facebook comment threads. He has never written a satirical piece for publication, which qualifies him in his mind to be the foremost critic in the genre. And it is his duty, in his words as the people’s critic, to help them understand how stupid they are.
“I have no special affinity for news satire,” Mr. Zillevich continued in a predictable word salad. “People are such idiots these days that they repost that stuff as reliable information. I get satire, you know like Caddyshack and Sophie’s Choice, I just think news satire that isn’t obvious enough in the fact that it truly is satire, is just as much of a problem as propaganda is. It’s all in the presentation and delivery.”
It’s hard to say how long this run as a self-appointed, social media satire-critic laureate will continue, because due to his relative thin-skinned nature, he’s banned everyone who’s questioned his authority. But he’s undeterred.
“Mediocre white noise,” pontificated Mr. Zillevich. “Just because something is written, that doesn’t make it publish worthy. Why not aspire to use the platform to do something noteworthy and clever? Like pointing out satire when you see it. Helping people, you know?”