Palo Alto, CA — Palo Alto-based Rundex Family Foundation has confirmed that Nevada City’s local documentary producer, and sometimes politician, Saihra Ramun has produced heavily redacted Freedom of Information Act reports which reveal Tigua Mobil and Leonidas Cellular may have been using technology that can damage rat testicles and/or their brains. The full study, expected to be released next week, reports about rat testicles and also reveals insights about how the early mobile phone technology disrupted the brain and contributed to tumor growth, insomnia, and a general apathy towards political activism.
“Well, even the old data doesn’t lie,” said Rundex Family Foundation lead researcher Robert Colvin speaking from his Mountain View, CA home office. “It’s clear someone didn’t want this report out. It was a confusing time back then. Lawmakers were working on what would become the Telecommunications Act of 1996, so the industry couldn’t have something as damning as this out in the public, so they buried it.
When asked about how she came upon the study, Ms. Ramun ignored my question and started a 5-minute rant about cell phone radiation.
“They have produced rat penises the size of pint glasses,” explains a respected Nevada City resident Saihra Ramun, “can you imagine the size of rat penises once they get zapped by our 5G cellular technology? I mean, there’s already documented damages from 3G and 4G signals, but 5G is like, 1G bigger.”
As I flipped open my flip-phone and feigned interest, the lady continued telling me about my death.
“Look, here’s the thing,” continued Ms. Ramun attempting to quiet the demons in her head long enough to form a coherent sentence. “Once the antenna was internalized, we were able to trick the public subconsciously into not thinking about such tedious thing as micro-watts of EMR [ElectroMagnetic Radiation] coming off their devices or phones,” she yammered while I pointed my Motorola at her, “you can’t tell me that’s not orchestrated murder.”
I put my phone down because I’m not the type to beat people like her. But it was tempting for a few seconds.
“This is a long battle we’re going to win. I mean, our bodies are being penetrated by these EMRs. I can feel the waves pulsating through my body as I walk past smart meters. It’s disrupting my precious bodily fluids. But there are industry operatives everywhere. Just yesterday I told my neighbor about the dangers of EMR and she should turn off her WiFi router. She just grinned at me and walked away. It was then I knew she working for the industry.”
When I asked her which industry she meant, she bristled and grew noticeably agitated.
“The industry of corporations. Like the globalists,” Ms. Ramun was growing increasingly nervous at this point, occasionally looking around to see if others were watching. “They care nothing about people. It’s people over profit, or, you know what I mean, and they’ll literally kill us to make a buck. They’re doing the same with vaccines and their geoengineering efforts [chemtrails]. Who is paying you?”
At this point, Ms. Ramun stopped talking and started staring at me. I asked if she had any additional questions, but she continued to glare at me.